


NYC Billionaire Has Public Freak-Out, Tarnishing His Reputation!

by Toixx_nimpark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Protective Pepper Potts, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toixx_nimpark/pseuds/Toixx_nimpark
Summary: Tony Stark has his worst crash in a long while. He'd forgotten what it felt like to be so vulnerable in front of others.
Relationships: Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Kudos: 22





	NYC Billionaire Has Public Freak-Out, Tarnishing His Reputation!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic kind of means a bit to me. I've been struggling to accept that I may have narcissistic tendencies recently, and I wanted to write about it a little bit. But I don't want it to be taken too seriously! This fic isn't supposed to represent how every person feels about a self-esteem crash and such. Just a personal vent, mostly. But I hope people enjoy it!  
> I also felt like there was a weird representation of how narcissism looks, but the symptoms can show up in different ways for different people. I wanted to explore what they might look like for Tony Stark.

Tony Stark’s therapist would be having a field day. So would the press. _NYC Billionaire Has Public Freak-Out, Tarnishing His Reputation!_ God, he never wanted to leave his bed. 

Pepper said he was going to be okay, but even she knew it was bad this time. Too little supply, too much self-loathing. 

It started a few days before. 

Bruce was explaining something to Steve in the dining room after dinner and apparently Tony was butting in too much. He didn’t think he was, but his therapist had told him before that he had a knack for not recognizing his own behavior. It’s been an ongoing problem since his late teen years; he thought he was getting better at it but he guessed from this interaction that he was not. 

It wasn’t like they’d known each for very long by now. It’s barely been a year or two after the scuffle they had with Thor’s brother, Loki. But he didn’t think this would happen so soon. After interrupting him for the third time, Steve got annoyed for Bruce. He glared sharply at Tony, telling him coldly to “Go talk to someone who cares. I want to hear what Bruce has to say.” 

He could see Bruce flinch in his peripheral vision. The damage was already done. A hot, solid ball of _something_ was pressing right against his fake heart. He gave both of the men a dirty look and left without a word. 

  
  
  


Then it only got worse. Tony knew the kid didn’t mean anything bad by it. Hell, he was a fucking teenager who was talking to his idol. Most of the time he didn’t even know what to talk to him about, let alone purposefully press all of his buttons. 

“Wow, Mr. Stark, that idea’s pretty cool,” he said. While his words were encouraging, the frown on his face said otherwise. The solidity in Tony’s chest thickened. “But wouldn’t it be lighter and easier to mold if you used this material instead?” 

Saying this, Peter brought up a hologram of a different metal for the armor. Tony couldn’t even see it. His fists were clenching, mind struggling to remember the coping skills his therapist taught him. _Count backward from ten. Do it until you’re calm._

Unfortunately, his teenage prodigy was not aware of him trying to implement his coping mechanisms. Instead, he just said, “Mr. Stark? Is, um, everything alright?” 

Anger flared up, he felt it in his cheeks. Peter was just a fucking child. What did he know about the complexities of creating armor? The stupid kid’s never done anything like that. Tony was the one to make his entire suit! But no. He couldn’t lash out at Peter. What kind of adult, or mentor, would he be if he did something like that? Peter was counting on him to trust him and treat him like another person. 

“I-I can leave if you need me to, sir,” the teen stuttered, obviously at a loss for what to say. 

He took the out. “Yeah, that’d be great, kid. I think I just suddenly got a bout of indigestion.” 

It took him five full minutes of FRIDAY talking him down from ten without anyone else in the room to finally come down from such a fit of intense anger. 

  
  
  


Pepper tracked him down before dinner that same day. He was all smiles by that point. FRIDAY kept up with his supply sometimes, but the compliments could only sound so genuine coming from an AI. He even stood up from the kitchen counter to hug her. 

Everyone was speaking about their days, joking around with each other. Sam Wilson seemed to be teaching Clint Barton, resident Iowa kid, about authentic New York-style pizza. Bruce was quietly working on a project on his StarkPad while Natasha was trying to encourage him to eat his slice of pizza. It was the perfect conversational buzz for her to bring up his minor fit. 

“I talked to Peter while he was on his way out,” she began the conversation. Glancing toward the rest of the Avengers, she said in a much lower voice, “What happened with him earlier today?”

She knew about his condition. She was the one to push him into therapy, into getting diagnosed, during their relationship. Tony knew he was being unfair to her during that period of time, but neither knew how to mend it. Now it was much better, for both of them. 

Therefore, she knew how he ticked. 

“My armor designs. He mentioned an offhand comment about them and it rubbed me the wrong way.” He was smiling. 

Clint snorted. “He’s seventeen, Tones. It’s unbecoming to be jealous of someone who isn’t even old enough to vote.” 

Tony’s jaw clenched. He distracted himself by downing his glass of whiskey. Handing the empty glass to Pepper, he whispered just for her, “I’m heading up to my room. Call me down if you need anything.” 

The walk to the apartment upstairs was hot and angry and confusing. Fucking birdbrain. The idiot would be nothing but a stupid circus carny with a second-grade reading level without him. He _made_ all of these worthless dirtbags. Tony was better than them in every way and they were so privileged to be graced with his generosity. 

He could tell Pepper didn’t want him to avoid the situation. That he “needed to communicate how he felt.” Pepper was strikingly similar to his therapist. Don’t hide your emotions! _But don’t take them out on people either._ Build your self-confidence! _But don’t treat people like they’re inferior._

Well, what the fuck was he supposed to do? He stared at himself in the mirror. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” He mumbled. Fuck. 

Thoughts hammered against his brain from what others had to say earlier. _Nobody cares. Stupid designs. Your designs aren’t worthy for me to look at. They’re so childish, Tony. How unbecoming for you to be jealous._ The voices were starting to morph into one voice, a familiar one though it was absent throughout most of his childhood. 

The same voice that would talk in public speeches talking about his mental health and partying habits in college. When the press caught him outside of a club, wasted out of his mind, and making out with another guy. Howard had to address it in a press conference. Of course, he had to stick his distant fingers into every aspect of Tony’s life. 

His hands were shaking but he couldn’t stop staring at his reflection. He was such a good person. Why couldn’t other people recognize that? He didn’t do anything wrong, so why didn’t he love him? Why was it so hard for his own father to protect him when he needed him the most? 

Tony didn’t do anything wrong. He took a deep breath. His therapist always told him there was a fine line between accepting that his bad relationship with his father wasn’t his fault and not taking any responsibility for his actions. And right now he felt the line was very blurry. 

  
  
  


FRIDAY alerted Pepper that Tony had locked himself in his room. There could be no other explanation for her to be knocking on his door. 

“Tony, you haven’t come down to eat. I know what happened at the charity event was… mortifying, but I need you to eat.” 

Pepper was good at that. Not invalidating his feelings. Even if she didn’t understand, she couldn’t understand, how intense the anger was when he was criticized felt. If he said it felt horrible to be looked at like he was less than, she believed him. Never tried to convince him it “wasn’t even that bad.”

_You’re being dramatic, Tony. Stop being a drama queen._

He pushed himself deeper into his plush mattress. The voice wouldn’t leave. The last few days stretched him too thin. Tony needed to be built back up, he could recognize this, but the primal fear that he would be rejected or belittled again was too great. 

Besides, these assholes didn’t deserve him. Without him, they’d all be paying way too much for a shitty apartment while doing odd jobs around the city to pay for food. He couldn’t let so many people so below him see him like this. So he’d ordered JARVIS to put a security lock on any and all footage to his apartment and to hide any commands or messages he’d given him until the security lock was stopped. Tony wondered if the AI had also gotten into contact with his therapist to tell her the situation; he’s done it before and Tony wouldn’t doubt that he’d do it again.

“Tony?” Oh, so Pepper hadn’t left yet. “It’s my job to help you figure all this out. We need to come up with a game plan to get you back out in the public eye. I also really need you to eat, Tony.” 

Fuck, he wanted to scream. Those public vultures had their whole careers based on his life. If Tony never left his room, they’d be the ones who would suffer. 

Reluctantly, he uncovered himself from the blankets. He needed to explain that to Pepper. She was his equal, and there weren’t many of those people in his life. There was a need for her to be in his company and to be near him, so he had to work hard to keep their contact up. Even if they weren’t in a relationship, she added too many benefits to be cast out. 

He forced his hands to stop shaking as he unlocked the door and opened it. Pepper was standing outside, dressed in her familiar pantsuit, with a scheduling book in one hand and a small chocolate cake on a plate in the other. She looked at him with a sad sort of smile. 

“Oh, Tony,” she breathed out. Her bottom lip was between her teeth. It could be difficult for her to help him raise his ego; a behavior she needed to unlearn for her own sake. “I got this for you.” 

Tony took the plate from her and moved so she could enter the room. He sat down on his bed and began eating, so he wouldn’t make the mistake of talking. The door automatically shut and locked behind him. 

“Tell me what happened.” Tony knew that Pepper knew what happened. Christ, she was there. Along with all of the other Avengers. But she always said she appreciated learning about the reasons why he did something from his perspective. 

He took a deep breath. “For the past few days, nobody’s really complimented me. And I don’t know why. I do so much for these people, and they have the nerve to depreciate me. But it came to a head at the charity event.” 

They were all surrounded by people. Tony couldn’t even remember what the charity was for. Just that he was feeling optimistic about it; he would be the most generous donator by far with his wealth, so people would have no choice but to compliment him for it. He was actually excited about attending. 

Not all of the Avengers could attend. Birdbrain and Spiderlady had a SHIELD mission they were assigned, so they couldn’t come. Rhodey, Captain America, Pepper, and himself were the ones who had clear enough schedules. Bruce had let him know that he would probably be able to make a late entrance and that he needed to finish up his project before leaving. Now he was glad that it was Bruce who made the late entrance because he really came in clutch for him. 

“People were complimenting me. It felt good.” Tony smiled. He used to feel weird telling Pepper these things. He was taught that those kinds of feelings weren’t very normal and it was selfish to brag about it. But it was an appropriate time for him to be bragging. “Not many reporters had come up to me, but that was okay. There were plenty of other rich and upper-middle-class people to talk about how kind I am. 

“I heard a reporter ask her cameraman if he thought I did it for attention. He said I probably did it because I wanted people to think I was a good person. But that’s not why I did it,” he stopped to look at Pepper, almost begging her with his eyes to believe him. She gestured for him to continue. “And then he just had to give me his own input. Fucking Savior of America, thinks he’s better than anyone else…” 

Steve Rogers heard what the reporter had said as well. He laughed and parroted, _“She’s probably right about the attention thing, huh Tony?”_

Tony bit the inside of his cheek. “And I lost it. What he said was just… too much.”

_He turned slowly to look at the man. “Don’t call me that, Rogers,” he seethed, some of the hot tightness in his chest leaving through his words. “Or are you projecting to feel better about your asthmatic ass.”_

_But he wouldn’t stop there. The reporter came up to him after noticing the tension, obviously trying to get a new scoop._

_“Tony Stark! How do you feel about all of the new residents at Stark Tower—”_

_“I don’t know! Maybe the boss whose dick you sucked to get clearance to be at this event can give you some insight into what it’s like to have so many new assholes surrounding him,” he spat the words out, looking her up and down with a judgemental look. She looked like she’d been hit and he smiled at her. “Have a nice fucking night.”_

_Before he could flee to find an isolated bathroom stall to calm himself down, a strong invasive hand grabbed his shoulder. It felt like a burn right on his clothing and he winced._

_“That was uncalled for, Stark. What’s wrong with you?” Captain America sounded like a disapproving dad. Tony was tired of hearing one of those._

_Tony gave him a scathing look. “Oh, I’m sorry, Captain. Are your precious virgin ears not used to hearing bad language? I thought you were in the army or was that just propaganda too?”_

_By now, they gathered quite a few of the patrons’ attention. Steve looked uncomfortable by it._ Good _, Tony thought._ He should know what it’s like to feel like this for once. 

_“Stark, you’re making a scene—”_

Fuck. Tony ran his hand through his short hair, pulling at it slightly. Pepper was rubbing his upper back slowly. 

“He sounded like my dad, Pepper,” he finally choked out. “I couldn’t get it out of my head. So I just fucking slapped him. In front of everyone.” 

He took another bite of the chocolate cake, but it didn’t taste like anything. He just did it to keep himself from speaking anymore. It had taken five hours for him to fully realize that he was in the wrong. He couldn’t keep blaming his outburst onto the young reporter and Steve. They had no clue that he was feeling that wound up. They couldn’t know because the only person who knew he wasn’t feeling well was Pepper. And she was probably busy that night managing the donation, making sure the transaction went well. 

“After I… hit him, Rhodey found me. He didn’t touch me or berate me, just asked if he could talk to me in the other room. Rhodey isn’t an equal, Pepper, but he’s very close.” Tony put the half-finished plate on his bedside table. “Bruce came in right as we found a spot outside the meeting hall. I’m really glad he was there.” 

“Was he able to calm you down better? Do you think it’s because he kind of understands how you feel?” She asked. 

_No, I’m completely unique. Nobody can understand me_. “Yes, I think so. They were able to take me back to the Tower. Not that I remember anything, it all felt like a blur.”

He laughed a little. “Rhodey took my phone while I was sleeping off my outburst. I have no idea what the media has been saying about me.” 

Pepper stood up and grabbed the plate. She must’ve known that she’d gotten him to eat as much as she could for the moment. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best. It’s not great right now, Tony. I know you don’t really care about your reputation being of a rich asshole, but now you have a team to look out for. Peter Parker is now associated with your name. It’d be better for you to make an apology statement. It doesn’t need to be a press conference, just a simple statement.” 

Tony knew she was right. His life wasn’t just him and Pepper anymore, able to combat rumors and bad press. He had more people to look out for, who needed his voice to be able to support them. 

It had been at least two days since the charity event. Two days too long. The longer he went without speaking about it, the more the rumors were going to twist and change to make him seem like an even worse person. He took a deep breath and stood up to face Pepper. 

“Okay then, let’s figure something out.” 

  
  
  


Pepper suggested he implement himself into the team again. They would be having their annual movie night that night, so it was the perfect opportunity. He took it. 

Bruce promised he’d be the one to escort him downstairs. 

Everyone’s voices were clear and joyful as they walked downstairs together. Pepper was still upstairs, editing the statement he’d written during lunch. (She made him eat a simple sandwich to start off with.)

They went quiet when his team took notice of him. Tony set his jaw and walked up to Steve. There wasn’t any evidence of Tony’s hit on him. It’d been two days, and with Steve’s superhuman healing it took probably nothing more than a few minutes for his face to heal. But the emotional impact was still there. 

With his hands shaking, Tony finally spoke, “I’m sorry, Steve. My behavior at the charity event is was completely inappropriate. There’s no excuse for it.” He breathed deeply. “It was wrong for me to jeopardize the team’s public image. I apologize for that.” 

Steve nodded. “I appreciate the apology, Tony. But, if I may ask,” he shifted his arms so they were hanging at his sides. “What happened? I need to know so that we can avoid that kind of miscommunication in the future.” 

Pepper said it was best to be honest. When he had a video chat with his therapist, she recommended coming clean about his condition. It would be less emotionally taxing for both parties if he just straight up told them why he was acting the way he did. He had to do this. 

“Yeah, right. I was, um, diagnosed a little while back with narcissistic personality disorder.” He paused for a moment, avoiding eye contact and laughing a little. “I know right? ‘Not a surprise at all, Tony!’ But a part of my condition is that it’s really hard for me to accept criticism. I know I’m a good, smart person and when anyone invalidates that, it kind of sets me off.” 

Rhodey gave him an encouraging smile. 

“The only people who knew were my therapist, Pepper, and Rhodey. And now all of you.” He looked up to address everyone. Nobody was looking at him like he was a disgusting monster yet, so that must’ve been a good sign. “I really can’t help it sometimes. I try really hard to control my impulses, but I can’t control it sometimes.” 

“How can we help?” Bruce asked. “I have some colleagues with personality disorders, and they say that it’s hard for other people to help manage their symptoms without enabling their behavior.” 

Tony sighed. God, did he understand that. He didn’t even notice he was hurting Pepper by making her enable him until his therapist got involved. “Um, call me out when I do something especially shitty. Sometimes I genuinely can’t tell what the right move is and I do the wrong thing. 

“But, I can’t be put down all the time. I need you to understand that when I’m ‘fishing for compliments’ then I really need to. FRIDAY is able of giving me compliments when I need it, but it doesn’t work sometimes.” 

Natasha was the first to speak after that. “Thank you for telling us, Tony. This was probably kind of difficult to do. I admire your ability to open up about this.” 

A lightness filled his chest when he heard her words and he laughed, a little nervously. “Okay, Nat. Thanks for—”

“No, seriously, Tony,” Sam added, smirking slightly. “I don’t know if I could be brave enough to talk about this.” 

He felt his face flush slightly and he rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you all. What the hell are you watching anyway?” 

Clint spoke through a mouthful of popcorn. “We were gonna start Star Wars. Our local grandpa’s never heard of it.” 

Steve scoffed. “I’m not a grandpa, Clint.” He turned to Tony again. “I’m glad we could figure this out. Thank you.” 

Tony was in the middle of the couch, surrounded by his team. Their voices were their own, not reminiscent of Howard Stark in the slightest. He had to scold them twice for talking during the most important, informative parts of the movie. Every once in awhile, one of them would pipe up to thank him or to compliment something he worked on or did for them. It was completely ridiculous, but he couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach indicating that his ego was getting fed. 

This was the luckiest he ever felt in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I feel like the endings of my one-shots are so rushed/boring? Oh well. This is also kind of a reminder for me to discuss my tendencies with my own therapist haha
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
